Oooh, Look What 5 Things We Made Taylor Swift Do
Pop star Taylor Swift’s new song, “Look What You Made Me Do,” finds the singer clapping back at her haters and people who attacked her reputation. While some assume the song is about Kanye West, Katy Perry, or possibly even ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris, the vengeful theme of the song’s lyrics has caused us at The Slant to assume that all our burns on Taylor may have finally caught up with us. Here are five things we’re pretty sure we made Taylor Swift do:
1. Revarnish her guitar.
Who could forget the 2008 Slant TV expose that used “super zoom” technology to reveal that Swift’s teardrops had actually left water rings on her guitar. It was seen by over 75 people on YouTube. And look at her guitars now. Do you see any stains? We don’t. Someone re-varnished.
2. Break Up with Tom Hiddleston
The short-lived 2016 relationship between Swift and actor Tom Hiddleston was so perfect that many believed it had to be a publicity stunt. Rumors really got flying when Hiddleston sported a t-shirt with the phrase “I heart TS” printed on the front. Taylor thought it was a sign of his love for her, which of course, made it especially awkward when Hiddleston revealed to Entertainment Weekly that TS stood for “The Slant.” She ditched him the very next day.
3. Take Up Irish Clogging
In 2011, Slant staffer Brad Farley tweeted at rapper-singer Nicki Minaj, “did you know @TaylorSwift can’t even Irish clog dance.” To which, Nicki responded “haha yup.” Oooooh-eeee we’re SURE Tay-Tay didn’t forget that savage burn. Perhaps that’s why, as TMZ just revealed, Swift recently bought a one-way ticket to Dublin.
4. Praise Dionysus, the Greek God of Wine
Former Editor in Chief of The Slant, Alexander Edwards was seated next to Ms. Swift at an party before the 2011 Grammy’s. After Taylor failed to end her toast by saying “And now we drink to Dionysus, the Greek God of Wine,” Edwards called her out. Rumor has it that Taylor was so embarrassed by the ousting that she named her album “Red” as a way to show her loyalty to wine during her initiation into the Cult of Dionysus.
5. Try her hand at a hip-hop album
We triple-dog dared her. Enjoy “Reputation.”